


Death by Indecency

by theskywasblue



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Gen, Humor, M/M, Nerdiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-29
Updated: 2012-02-29
Packaged: 2017-10-31 22:45:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/349162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theskywasblue/pseuds/theskywasblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Yusuf is confused, Eames is shameless, Ariadne is embarrassed, and Arthur is the Dungeon Master</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death by Indecency

**Author's Note:**

> for [](http://kirathaune.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**kirathaune**](http://kirathaune.dreamwidth.org/)'s "Dungeons & Dragons" prompt. Title lifted from [this](http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=110) hilarious VG Cats comic.

“Are these dice regulation, Arthur? I wouldn’t normally ask, but I know how you feel about dice...”

Arthur’s hand shot out, snatching up the D12 as Eames tossed it casually up into the air and placing it smoothly back on the desk. “No one has tampered with the dice, Eames.”

Eames’ responding grin was nothing short of wolfish, “Well I was just _checking_.”

“Are we rolling for stats?” Ariadne asked, speaking around a mouthful of pretzels. “It’s always more interesting that way.”

“No need to rush it,” Yusuf protested, still nose-deep in the player’s manual. His innate nervousness was showing through in his preparations – endless notes protruded from the edges of the dog-eared pages. “I’m still trying to figure this all out.”

Ariadne shook her head, “I still can’t believe that you went to med school but never played Dungeons and Dragons before.”

Yusuf peered guiltily at her over the top of his manual. “What gave you the idea that I went to med school?”

Ariadne shrugged, while Eames gaped at him in open-mouthed horror. “I let you stick _needles_ in me.”

“You let me stick needles in you too,” Arthur reminded him, “probably a lot more often.”

Eames’ face broke into a shameless leer. “Arthur, darling, there are _so_ many things I would allow you to _stick in me_ , but you always get so shirty with me when I try and discuss them with you.”

The tips of Arthur’s ears turned red. Yusuf made a faintly horrified noise, and Ariadne snorted around yet another mouthful of pretzels.

“Could you two lay off the flirting for like – one night? It’s kind of horrifying.”

“Is that right?” Eames looked like he was working very hard to hold back laughter, “because I’ve seen the pictures you keep on your laptop, pet, and they are not shy.”

Ariadne made a terrified squawking noise and hurled a handful of pretzels at Eames. Most of them landed in his lap; a stray one bounced harmlessly off Arthur’s shoulder and he paused in his campaign research to brush off the bit of salt it left behind. “Eames! Stay away from my laptop!”

“You shouldn’t leave it open on the desk if you don’t want someone to come along and look at it.”

“He has a point,” Yusuf agreed, without looking up from his manual – so he didn’t see when Ariadne hauled back her fist to punch him in the shoulder.

“He doesn’t have _anything_ – you can’t just go digging around people’s private computer files...”

“You know,” Eames interrupted, “I found it very interesting that you keep your architecture photos in a folder titled ‘porn’ and your porn in a file labelled ‘architecture.’”

“O-kay!” Arthur cut in, sharply enough that everyone sort of flinched like naughty schoolchildren – he tried not to enjoy the fact that he often had that effect on people. “Are we going to play at some point tonight – because I have about three potential scenarios and I’d really like to get a chance to run at least one.”

“You heard the dungeon master,” Eames piped dramatically, waving a pretzel that he’d rescued from his lap like some kind of trophy, “we’ve dungeons to raid and damsels to save. Chop-chop.”

Ariadne, clearly still upset about the laptop incident – Arthur was trying very hard not to spend too much time thinking about what kind of pictures Eames had found on her laptop, or why she chose to label architecture as “porn” – launched another pretzel at him. Her aim was considerably better this time and it bounced off his cheekbone. “We could have started ages ago if you’d fill out your character sheet already.”

“I don’t _need_ a character sheet, Ariadne – trust me,” he tapped his forehead with the end of his pencil, “everything I need is up here. I may never have done roleplay with dice before, but I most certainly have done it.”

He followed this up with a look in Arthur's direction which Arthur very seriously chose to ignore.

“Speak for yourself,” Yusuf sighed, rubbing at his forehead and looking genuinely distressed. "This seems so complicated..."

“You’ll pick it up as we go along,” Arthur promised him, hoping it was true – he knew that Yusuf tended to get overworked about the details of things if left to his own devices. “Now, if we can stop dicking around, you’re all off to Dragonmount...”

-End-


End file.
